Oh summer time; what can I say about my summer, except that it's pretty much dull. Nothing exciting has really happened during my summers for the past two years. There's nothing I can boast that really makes me say "My summer was a blast. I enjoyed the heck out of it." Instead, what do I have? Almost nothing. No job, no luck in finding a job, and not really any friend I could really hang out with anywhere. Last summer I must have seen my friends a couple of times, but that's it. So what am I doing with my summer this year? Is it as boring as the past two, or is it alittle more productive?
Well, I can't say my summer has been very fun, but it certainly has been more productive. I started summer school in July, and it ended on Thursday for me. Part time, two classes; I haven't met that many people in my classes, but I have made a few friends. I got some work done, rose my overall G.P.A., and learned a few tricks of the trade, including Microsoft Excel.
Now, I think about my life, and what I've done with it so far, and I ask myself this question; am I aging with time, or is time aging with me? Backpedaling what I mean on this question, this is the gist of it; time is inevitable, you cannot reverse your role in the blink of an eye. If that were true we would probably be whatever we wanted in no time. But to gain success means you have to work for it. I know alot of friends that have had things I've never had; a job, independent living, a loved one, some honors class I wouldn't be able to get in etc.. I guess it's one thing to say that when I know that someone has done more than me in their time, I start to feel like crap. I mean, you've accomplished so much, and here I am, not really seeking out any opportunities. Why? What makes me incapable of doing some tasks others can do so easily?
Well I don't know, but I'm gonna change my management over time this coming semester. Surely it's not that I'm not capable, but I don't seek out anything. Laziness? Lack of interest? Maybe, but I've become more involved with my surroundings. Since the end of January I started doing some community service work in my neighborhood; I participated in their afterschool program for elementary and middle school kids. Mind you, this was out of my own will. No company and no person telling me to do this, this was all out of my own selflessness.
And I enjoyed it. It made me feel more open to people, I met some cool friends around my age, and, most important to me, I felt like I was needed. I got along well with some of the kids over there, I felt like a big brother to some, and I was glad enough to help out those that needed it. I've always wanted to be seen as the guy who anyone could go to and ask for help, no matter what. I'm no expert in all situations and fields, but even if it's someone you just want to talk to, I'm always here.
Anyway, I won't be going there anymore, the main reason is simple; time management. Beginning with the Fall semester, I will be going full time to school. I'm more dedicated to my college life now than I've ever been, and I'm not going to let myself linger around the field anymore. I'm going to join a club or organization that interests me and pertains to (one) of my classes. I'm gonna become more involved with my work, and I'm gonna do my best to seek out more people who are like me, who share the same interests I do, and who are in the same situation as me. That is, a college student who is living his life the way he wants, trying to find those who matter to him.
I'm not going to forget about the community service work I've done, though. While I'll no longer be there, it certainly has taught me to be more open to the youth. I never put much thought into it, but I think I get it now. Kids are carefree and innocent; we all were when we were young. And I still wanna be that someone who can try to make a difference in someone's life. That's why, I'm gonna register with Long Beach BLAST, to become an academic mentor.
I will be 21 years old at the end of this month; do I dread getting older? Not really, but I will miss my younger days. That being said, I'll tell you one thing I'll never forget as long as I remain on this earth; my friends, family, and the memories I've shared with so many. I won't just sit by and let time pass by without accomplishing anything, and I'm not going to allow anymore chances to pass by me. My life has shown some ups and downs, but I won't let the bad outweigh the good. This last year has shown me people who I never thought existed, and it's improved me as a person in general.
So don't think about what could have been; instead, think about what you can do to make your life more enjoyable and give yourself more memories. We live off of remembering events, be it good, bad, scary, happy, sad, angry, or silly. Don't let anything try to hold you back, because the only one who is is yourself. And remember these important questions; are you aging with time? Or is time aging with you?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
September 23rd
I'll never forget that day
The day I found you
It was a cold day that day
Such a regular morning
Such a regular day
I was down
But you lifted me up
I didn't think I'd talk to anyone
I was too shy a person to say hi to a single person
I'm still a shy guy
But not as bad as it used to be
There I saw you
Sitting
You looked peaceful
So cute
I couldn't disturb you
But you possessed a trait I rarely see
Shyness has held me back
It's frustrating to deal with
I don't think I can talk to anyone
But I sensed it in you
I hope I didn't intimidate you
What was it I liked?
Your hair?
Your face?
The way you dressed?
What was it?
Well I'll tell you
It was you
Yourself
You were such a good person to talk to
You seemed goodhearted
I initiated a conversation with you
I felt comfortable
I felt fine
But most importantly, I felt happy
Even though it was a short time, I enjoyed it
We parted ways, hoping to meet you again someday
I didn't see you the next day
Or the day after
Or the week after
I thought it was hopeless
So I tried my best to forget about you
But I saw you again, almost one whole month later
And when I did, my heart lifted me up
Seeing your face again
Your smile
It brightened my day up
Again, you were shy on the bus
And so was I
We talked again, on our way to our classes
I enjoyed it, once again
Even though it was, again, not very long
It was fun
I felt fine
I felt happy
Though I may never see you again
I may never talk to you again
You probably already had someone before I met you
Or you now have someone
But one thing is forsooth
I will never forget you, or the day I met you
It lives in my memory
Forever embedded
Forever remaining
Forever to never forget
The day I found you
It was a cold day that day
Such a regular morning
Such a regular day
I was down
But you lifted me up
I didn't think I'd talk to anyone
I was too shy a person to say hi to a single person
I'm still a shy guy
But not as bad as it used to be
There I saw you
Sitting
You looked peaceful
So cute
I couldn't disturb you
But you possessed a trait I rarely see
Shyness has held me back
It's frustrating to deal with
I don't think I can talk to anyone
But I sensed it in you
I hope I didn't intimidate you
What was it I liked?
Your hair?
Your face?
The way you dressed?
What was it?
Well I'll tell you
It was you
Yourself
You were such a good person to talk to
You seemed goodhearted
I initiated a conversation with you
I felt comfortable
I felt fine
But most importantly, I felt happy
Even though it was a short time, I enjoyed it
We parted ways, hoping to meet you again someday
I didn't see you the next day
Or the day after
Or the week after
I thought it was hopeless
So I tried my best to forget about you
But I saw you again, almost one whole month later
And when I did, my heart lifted me up
Seeing your face again
Your smile
It brightened my day up
Again, you were shy on the bus
And so was I
We talked again, on our way to our classes
I enjoyed it, once again
Even though it was, again, not very long
It was fun
I felt fine
I felt happy
Though I may never see you again
I may never talk to you again
You probably already had someone before I met you
Or you now have someone
But one thing is forsooth
I will never forget you, or the day I met you
It lives in my memory
Forever embedded
Forever remaining
Forever to never forget
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Shell
It's the second year of college. The young man began his first class a month earlier. He was not very tall, 5'8, and had hair that almost extended to his shoulders. On his face was a beard, moustache and some facial hair on his cheeks. He didn't like his beard or moustache alot, yet when shaves he kind of misses it, because it looks cool.
Despite his appearance, he was a really cool guy, so people tell him. And he was; he gets along with people at school and people outside of his college. He was a shy guy, very very shy... it's something that bugs him alot. He always sees a beautiful girl everywhere he goes, but never has the courage to talk to her. Anti-social isn't a way to describe him; he gets nervous sometimes, maybe it's the surroundings. He has met some people at his school, last year and this year, but noone whom he talks to all the time, if at all. Never got anyone's contact info.
One day he saw a girl get on the bus while coming home from the mall after school. She was a short girl, looked atleast two years younger than him. He eventually found out from her she was 16, which shocked him; he was gonna turn 20 in 3 days, and was surprised from her age. While he waited at the bus stop, he decided to take a chance and start talking. He stood up straight, while she sat down on the bench waiting for the bus.
"Do you know what time the bus comes?" she asked him. He looked at her, and then looked north to see if the bus was coming. "I don't know." he said. They were waiting for 5 mins, and then he started talking to her.
"Do you go to Joshua High?" he asked, he noticed the I.D. in her bag, thought she graduated. "Oh, yeah. I do this year now. Last year I went to Mayfair high", she said.
"Really?" he asked. "Yep." she said, and moved her hair. "I'm in 10th grade when the new year begins," and it came as a surprise to him when she said that. She looked alittle older to him, atleast a highschool graduate. "Hmm, 10th grade." he said. "Did you get your I.D. at the school?" He asked, and looked at the lace in her bag.
"Oh yeah. Hah, I just got this earlier this month when I went to registration." and pulled it out of her bag. She said she wasn't sure about going to the new school, but he assured her it wasn't as bad as people said it was. She will meet some cool people there, and the classes and teachers are nice. It isn't the best high school around, but it's something.
"I graduated last year", he said. "I was in the class of 2008, and I started college last fall." He went to a community college, and she looked at him. "Last year? Wow, I was in 8th grade when you graduated!", and recalled she transfered to the new school. Afterwards they started talking about various things; jobs, music, school, what they do afterschool. He didn't feel nervous, not one bit; he was at ease talking to her. He had someone to talk with, no one else at the moment.
"Ohh, I didn't ask you your name." the girl said. And he looked at her, moving his hair out of his eyes. "I'm Matt."
"Matt. That's a cool name." she said. "Heh, thanks. What's your name?"
"I'm Susan." she said.
"I don't know a Susan. That's a good name."
"Thank you." she said. He's heard alot of common names in his life, but not one Susan throughout his days of living.
They continued to talk, while still waiting for the bus, sitting in the shade; it was a hot day.
"Umm, may I ask you something?" Susan asked.
"Sure." Matt said.
"Are you a pot smoker? You kind of look like one."
"No. I don't do drugs." he answered back; that question bothered him, no matter who asked.
"Ohh! I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "It's just you kind of remind me of one. My ex was into that. He did drugs and drank."
"It's fine. I get that sometimes from people." he said. It hurts when people did ask him. It was like judging a book by it's cover. Obviously if having long hair makes you a druggie, then listening to heavy metal makes you an alcoholic.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask." she said.
"Don't worry about it, really." he said, smiling.
When the bus arrived, she got up, and got her bus pass. He grabbed his bus pass out of his pocket and boarded the bus with her. They sat down, and he asked where she was heading.
"I'm going to the library."
"Hmm, that's cool."
"I like going there alot. I enjoy reading and being content."
"I do too. Actually, I like going to study and do homework there. Not that I can't concentrate at home, but I feel like I can do more work there."
"That's cool." she said, nodding.
He stayed on the bus longer than he usual, just to spend even one more minute talking to her. When it came to a stop, they both got off on the street right across the library. She was about to cross, before saying goodbye.
"Byee, it was nice meeting you." she said, and they shook hands, smiling. "Byee, nice talking to you." he said. She crossed the street to the library, and he walked home. Before continuing walking, he looked back at her once more, and smiled.
She's a cool girl, he thought. I hope that I can see her again. He walked to his house, feeling confident that he'll break out of his shell someday.
Despite his appearance, he was a really cool guy, so people tell him. And he was; he gets along with people at school and people outside of his college. He was a shy guy, very very shy... it's something that bugs him alot. He always sees a beautiful girl everywhere he goes, but never has the courage to talk to her. Anti-social isn't a way to describe him; he gets nervous sometimes, maybe it's the surroundings. He has met some people at his school, last year and this year, but noone whom he talks to all the time, if at all. Never got anyone's contact info.
One day he saw a girl get on the bus while coming home from the mall after school. She was a short girl, looked atleast two years younger than him. He eventually found out from her she was 16, which shocked him; he was gonna turn 20 in 3 days, and was surprised from her age. While he waited at the bus stop, he decided to take a chance and start talking. He stood up straight, while she sat down on the bench waiting for the bus.
"Do you know what time the bus comes?" she asked him. He looked at her, and then looked north to see if the bus was coming. "I don't know." he said. They were waiting for 5 mins, and then he started talking to her.
"Do you go to Joshua High?" he asked, he noticed the I.D. in her bag, thought she graduated. "Oh, yeah. I do this year now. Last year I went to Mayfair high", she said.
"Really?" he asked. "Yep." she said, and moved her hair. "I'm in 10th grade when the new year begins," and it came as a surprise to him when she said that. She looked alittle older to him, atleast a highschool graduate. "Hmm, 10th grade." he said. "Did you get your I.D. at the school?" He asked, and looked at the lace in her bag.
"Oh yeah. Hah, I just got this earlier this month when I went to registration." and pulled it out of her bag. She said she wasn't sure about going to the new school, but he assured her it wasn't as bad as people said it was. She will meet some cool people there, and the classes and teachers are nice. It isn't the best high school around, but it's something.
"I graduated last year", he said. "I was in the class of 2008, and I started college last fall." He went to a community college, and she looked at him. "Last year? Wow, I was in 8th grade when you graduated!", and recalled she transfered to the new school. Afterwards they started talking about various things; jobs, music, school, what they do afterschool. He didn't feel nervous, not one bit; he was at ease talking to her. He had someone to talk with, no one else at the moment.
"Ohh, I didn't ask you your name." the girl said. And he looked at her, moving his hair out of his eyes. "I'm Matt."
"Matt. That's a cool name." she said. "Heh, thanks. What's your name?"
"I'm Susan." she said.
"I don't know a Susan. That's a good name."
"Thank you." she said. He's heard alot of common names in his life, but not one Susan throughout his days of living.
They continued to talk, while still waiting for the bus, sitting in the shade; it was a hot day.
"Umm, may I ask you something?" Susan asked.
"Sure." Matt said.
"Are you a pot smoker? You kind of look like one."
"No. I don't do drugs." he answered back; that question bothered him, no matter who asked.
"Ohh! I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "It's just you kind of remind me of one. My ex was into that. He did drugs and drank."
"It's fine. I get that sometimes from people." he said. It hurts when people did ask him. It was like judging a book by it's cover. Obviously if having long hair makes you a druggie, then listening to heavy metal makes you an alcoholic.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask." she said.
"Don't worry about it, really." he said, smiling.
When the bus arrived, she got up, and got her bus pass. He grabbed his bus pass out of his pocket and boarded the bus with her. They sat down, and he asked where she was heading.
"I'm going to the library."
"Hmm, that's cool."
"I like going there alot. I enjoy reading and being content."
"I do too. Actually, I like going to study and do homework there. Not that I can't concentrate at home, but I feel like I can do more work there."
"That's cool." she said, nodding.
He stayed on the bus longer than he usual, just to spend even one more minute talking to her. When it came to a stop, they both got off on the street right across the library. She was about to cross, before saying goodbye.
"Byee, it was nice meeting you." she said, and they shook hands, smiling. "Byee, nice talking to you." he said. She crossed the street to the library, and he walked home. Before continuing walking, he looked back at her once more, and smiled.
She's a cool girl, he thought. I hope that I can see her again. He walked to his house, feeling confident that he'll break out of his shell someday.
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